I sit down slowly in the sand, where we had been the day before. The day before the dreams shattered.
"Home is an empty dream
Lost to the night
[love]er, I feel so alone"
I lean forward, drawing my hand through the sand between my legs. Then with a backstroke I savagely claw at it, creating a deep fissure, the sand previously there goes flying.
"You promised you’d be there
Whenever I needed you
Whenever I call your name
You’re not anywhere"
My hands Pound the sand with a howl ripping out through my throat. I Feel my first tear well up and break free. The single lonely tear slides down my cheek, scorching it’s path.
"I’m trying to hold on
Just waiting to hear your voice
One word, just a word will do
To end this nightmare"
Again, I let myself fall backwards into the sand. Again I look up into the same foreign sky. The shadows seem to dance around me as the trees bend with their cruel laughter.
"When will the dawning break
Oh endless night
Sleepless I dream of the day
When you were by my side
Guiding my path
[love]er, I can’t find the way"
I lay there thinking of the stranger’s words, of how he threw all my help back into my face. Not necessarily in a cruel way, more so in a provoking thoughts way. I remember, and i hate him for it. The pain of realizing I am really alone is quite unwelcome. I don’t think I will ever embrace such a merciless reality. I refuse to be alone, to be gone. Yet, i’m not really completely alone, for I have met someone, right? Him and his woman? Or will this too pass, for they do not need a third; one who cannot share their world either. Yet, I wont give up, nor will I forget. I will wait for you, or at least… I will try.
"I know that the night must end
I know that the sun will rise
And I’ll hear your voice deep inside"
