Darkness Before the Dawn

I find my mind wandering of late. I feel restless and lost. I had finally found my footing in Equinox and now here we are in this…place. Wherever it may be, however we arrived here. At least we arrived together. Had he not been here, I am unsure what I would have done.

Did his mother banish us? He had betrayed her in some way, though I am unsure how. Could she really have turned him out like this? And if so…why am I with him? How will I ever find the one I seek if we do not even know how to leave this place?

My only solace lies in the fact that I am not alone, not while Fadeen is here. He seems as unsure as I do, and that is oddly comforting. His usual confidence and arrogance is still there but underlying that is a sense of unease. Despite this, we carry on our training. I thought perhaps it was my own lack of skill walking within the Shadow World, what he calls The Void, was to blame but he cannot reach it as easily as he once did either. This land, there is something about it. Something strained.

Hardly any of it seems to matter though, not now. After all those months of wondering why I am so drawn to him, trying to understand the hold over me, and yearning to learn his secrets…It all came crashing down harder than I ever thought possible…


The night in the Inn started like any other. The constant game of Cat and Mouse, the struggle for power. He always warned her of what danger he was, and she never listened, never cared. She begged him to tell her why he was so afraid to get close, to tell her why he kept her at a distance. Why should she fear him, after all, when he was her benefactor, her teacher, her friend.

He caressed her cheek, and she ran her fingers through his hair, cupping the back of his neck. So cold, he was always so cold. His usual blue eyes now nearly red, he gazed at her intently, hungrily.

Do you truly wish to know what I am?" he had asked her.

Breathlessly she answered, yes…

His lips moved to brush against her neck and she moaned softly, the familiar feel of his lips on her…It took a moment for her brain to register the pain. Like two needles, piercing the skin. Her arms tightened around his neck, she clung to him. Her body pressed to his, his arms supporting her as he took her into him.

The pain was not as deep as she would have thought. Her mind screamed at her to push him away, fight him off and kill him. He was exactly the same as the monster she had hunted her entire life. She should want him dead. But her body betrayed her, not bearing to pull itself away until finally he broke from her, staring at the wounds in her neck.

She felt light headed, weak and dizzy as if she had too much to drink. The look on his face was a mixture of concern and pleasure. He carried her to the bed, and though she fought to keep her eyes on him, she quickly faded into sleep.

When she awoke at first she thought it a dream. He approached her warily as if expecting her to attack. A confusion of thoughts pounded in her head. How could she bare to look at him, knowing what he was? But then, how could she take her eyes from him?

"I wanted so badly for you to be stronger than I was, Adicia…" he said angrily. "To not become the thing you hunted as I did. Tell me, if I could turn you as I am, would you wish it?"

She swore herself to him once, Mind, body and soul, whatever it took. As revolted as she was at the thought of what he was, she started to wonder. Could this be the thing she needs to finally find and kill the one who killed her sister?

But he was angry, frightened perhaps, at her and at himself.

"Does one not require becoming the thing they hate, in order to destroy it?"she asked in turn.

"Beautiful forever, beyond ageless, beyond weakness…"

"What does it matter if he is so far beyond my reach now?"she asked angrily, knowing they had no idea how to leave this place. "And still, you do not want me…"

"It is not that I do not want you, Adicia. I do not wish to kill you," he said with a frown.

She looked up at him, her eyes searching his.

"Kiss me…" she said softly.

He frowned at her. "What does that prove?"

"I know what you are now. I need to know what I felt was not merely a side effect. Perhaps you may learn something as well…"

He caressed her cheek, pressing his lips softly to hers. She kissed tentatively at first, as if exploring him for the first time. It felt familiar, it felt right. Whatever he was, whatever he had done did not matter in this moment. He pulled her closer to him, his skin warmer to the touch now that his hunger was abated. Reluctantly, they parted.

"I still want to be with you…God help me I do,"she whispered.

"Even now though, there is more to it than that. I still thirst for you. I do not know where the rest ends and that begins," he said softly, his eyes violet once again.

"Then take what you need and you will know. When you no longer require it, what is left…is us."

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